Gett'n Dooown!

A little someone has found her independence! Today Gemma started getting down off our bed very confidently.  I love it!  I taught her how and helped her out for about two weeks maybe, and today she finally went for it without me being around..or so she thought. It was pretty wild to see and fortunately I had my iphone right next to me in bed.  

Notes to G

Dear G,

Yesterday you started clapping.  It's not a big deal but it's just so cute to see you do it!  You clap at things you do and you clap for others.  I just wanted to remember the day you started clapping! 

xo

Mama

Notes to G

Dear Gems, 
Today you fed me for the first time. I gave you a piece of banana and after taking a few bites you took it and fed it to me. I think this is so exciting.  I don't know why but I do. Well... actually I think it's exciting because I feel it shows you have an awareness outside of yourself.  It also tells me you are mimicking my actions; I fed you, you feed me.  I think it shows signs of empathy...although I'm not sure you quite fully understand the feeling hunger outside of your belly.  I found this small action as a sign of huge development.  

I love watching your little details.  For example, I like watching you move your food around and pick different things out. I wonder what's going on inside your little head that makes you do what you do. Your experience in life is very limited so I wonder what primal, unaltered part of your brain makes the choices it does. 

This week you decided me feeding you was no longer going to work.  You have always wanted to take the spoon out of my hands, even when you were still having trouble directing your own hand in any direction at all.  I've tried to let you feed yourself chunks of food.  However, with things like yogurt or apple sauce I can't do it or else we'll end up with food on our walls.  This week it was chunks or nothing.  You are very independent. I like it. I hate it.  It means my services could be rendered not so useful in the not so distant future.  

But for right now my services are quite needed and I really enjoy getting to watch you find your path and make your choices even when it's just between a banana or an O. 

Notes to G

Dear Gemma, 
This is the face you make when you are beyond excited.  When I pull out a food you like you make this face and your feet start moving a mile a minute!  It's the most amazing thing to watch.  But then you want what you want right away and if I haven't peeled that mango in 10 seconds flat you get mad!  Oh, the squeaking and shrieking and crying that follows is pretty harsh.  But the excited face is well worth it!

I love you my Gemma.
xo Mama

It's NOT about the violin.

What a breakthrough!  Annika has been taking violin since October.  Until yesterday she had only done  many different finger and muscle strengthening exercises. To be honest it's been a struggle.  I got mad at her after last week's class and came close to quitting classes all together.  I know I sound like a tiger mom but you have to hear where I'm coming from.

We started violin because we feel....and know that music is a huge aspect of learning. But, also like sports there is so much a skill like playing an instrument can teach you about life.  Annika chose the violin.  She was excited about it and then it got hard and I saw her focus fly right out the window.  One of Annika's weaknesses is that she only wants to do something if she's good at it.  I'm hoping to help her get comfortable being outside of her comfort zone. Or at least to not run away from it.  You can't accomplish much if you only want to stay in your comfort zone.

So, one thing Annika does very well is steer her ship and everyone in it to where she wants to go.  In violin class she started making jokes, hiding under chairs, talking in funny voices, entertaining her teacher to do anything butt proceed with class.  I talked to her about it. I tried to help her get comfortable. I tried to motivate her with rewards. And every class was torture...for me. Even the teacher said she could see this bothered me more than her.  But I had never seen Annika behave like this.

After last week's class I put my foot down.  I sat her down and was very stern because it's all kind of a joke to her. Mostly what I wanted, and hoped, I got through was that I didn't care if she failed, if she didn't play it right or whatever.  I was mad because she wasn't trying. She wasn't even giving herself the chance to fail or succeed.  That's all I wanted from her. To just try and give herself a chance.

With that conversation I at least got her to practice easier.  We practiced every other day for 15 minutes.    Gemma is always crawling up on Annika's legs when she's playing the violin.  We used her as a focus tool.  If Annika could play with her baby sister at her feet then a solo performance with her teacher would be a breeze.

She had her class again yesterday and what a breakthrough! During the week she finally practiced stroking the strings with her bow.  And during class Annika actually played a song along with her teacher on the piano for the first time! Her teacher was impressed and surprised with her focus.  And I was happy to see her focus come through in a way I've often seen before.  I was mostly happy with the confidence she had acquired throughout the week. I was happy she found the courage to give herself a chance and I was blown away by how impressive she was.  Honestly, I did not expect her first time playing to sound that....competent, for lack of a better word.  Her teacher has been impressive with the way she built her muscle memory to hold the bow and violin and tuned her ear to hear the melodies.

So, again here I am saying that it's not about the violin and her playing. It's about the lessons she is learning. She must have courage and try. Being outside one's comfort zone is actually a thrilling place to be. To gain confidence she must practice.  A little effort with consistency goes a long way.  She has tremendous ability when she stops worrying about failing.

The icing to my cake was when I talked to Annika's teacher at school today.  Turns out her behavior at school is exactly the same as what it's been like at violin when she is challenged.  So, I'm hoping I can now take the lesson learned in violin and apply it to school without me being there.

At any rate, I love watching the video above.  And I love hearing Gemma in the background.    

Gemma's Process

In so many little and big ways I see the difference between Annika and Gemma.  The biggest indicator that these two girls will be two very different women with different process on tackling problems and projects is the way they are learning to sit up, crawl and walk.  

I originally thought that Gemma was developing faster.  She started her attempts to crawl and stand a good month or two before Annika did.  But then I noticed the major difference between them. While Annika won't tackle anything until she's pretty sure she can succeed at it,  Gemma likes to take things on a little at a time.  

Two months ago Gemma started trying to stand on her own but only on our bed.  She clearly knew she was falling often so she would only do it where the landing was soft.  She started out by holding onto to me, pulled herself up and then let go. She repeated the process over and over.  The next step was to pull herself up the wall and let go. Then she worked her way up by going up on her own but resisting against me with her knees or shins.  She repeated the process on any floor that was soft.  

About two weeks ago I started seeing her hold onto to furniture, let go and then slowly and very controlled squat back to sitting.  And again she would only do it on a carpeted or soft floor. Last weekend she made progress by coming up on her knees. She was working the balance from all fours to only two points! 

Yesterday, while at Annika's violin class all of a sudden I saw her standing on her own for about a minute.  She had gotten to standing on her own from a squat position.  Today she stood up on her own again on the tile floor which is not soft. She is baby stepping her way to standing. 

She has yet to take steps. I can tell she's making sure she can stand comfortably before she takes a step forward. In fact, I'm now seeing her do the one-foot crawl.  

The same meticulous process was applied for crawling. First it was swaying back and forth on all fours. Then she did this routine that looked like a Pilates class. One hand up, then down. Other hand up, then down. One foot up, then down. Second foot up, then down. And soon enough she crawled and now it's crawling with speed.   

I love how Gemma goes about learning new things. I love how she has this determination to practice and get comfortable at each stage before moving on. I can relate to how she is doing it very well.  I recently learned to ski and I wanted to do the bunny slopes over and over until I felt comfortable before moving onto the next slopes.  I needed to feel control before tackling a new feeling.  I'll be able to relate to Gemma's learning process very well which is good. And it also lets me know I must have patience and understanding with Annika as she learns new things because we tackle things in a different manner.  

Today, for the first time I was able to photograph Gemma standing. It is a blurry picture but I got it.  Her face tells you how excited and proud she is with herself.  I love it!

Ronald Reagan Library

We went to the Ronald Reagan Library today. It's been a while since we last visited. When we pulled up to the parking lot I remembered Annika was crawling and pulling herself up on things but not yet walking when we were there last.  So she must have been somewhere around 10 months....the very same age Gemma is now!  I found the pictures from that day back in August 2008. It's was a little bittersweet to compare then to now.  I'm thrilled I have two girls but sad my dad is no longer with us. I'm amazed to see how much these little people change in four short years. 

2008: Annika holding onto these glass panels they have in one gallery.

2013: Gemma doing the same thing today but her sister is always close by.

2008. My dad and mom with Annika.  They were visiting from Florida. 

2013: This time it was Dave and me with the girls.  My dad is no longer with us....

2008: Annika holding herself up. I think this was the place where she really started to pull herself up. The panels helped her feel more comfortable for some reason. 

2013: Gemma pulling herself up. She's been doing it for about 2 months now.  Annika entices her to be more active and to mature faster. 

2008: My dad holding Annika up over this table so she could see the ball roll around the maze. 

2013: Dave playing the maze game with Annika.  

2008: My mom on the opposite side with Annika

2013: Annika on the other side with Gemma.