Today was HUGE!

Today was huge.  Today was the last meet of the 2014 San Fernando Catholic School League Swim Season.  It's been a good swim year for P. She medaled in the breast stroke in every meet.  Half way through the season she started competing in all four events: back, breast, free and fly.  She was never disqualified for improper technique which is huge at 6 years old.  Last year she was the only one in her class on the team, this year she gained 5 first grade team mates.  It's been a fun and productive year but today was huge! 

Today we had a break through and not just in swimming. Today she learned a life lesson.  All season P has had an issue with finishing strong or putting in 100%. In practice she was cutting off the beginning and end of each lap AND stopping half way.  I let it go until I noticed that in meets she was starting out strong and practically coming to a halt at basically the very same spot where she was stopping in practice.  She was performing the same way she was practicing.  So we had a talk. 

We talked about what giving 100% looked like: swimming wall to wall and not stopping half way.  I told her I preferred her to give 100% for half an hour instead of giving 50% for an entire hour.  She promised to give 100% and I promised that if I saw her short change her practices I'd pull her out of the pool.  I also promised to listen to her as she listened to her body. If she was feeling tired or sore we would skip swimming that day.  Our open communication was working well. 

The next meet came and again I saw her nearly stop half way in every single event.  One of the parent-coaches said it could be lack of strength which was normal for her age. The issue would resolve itself with time. But to me there was a mental aspect I saw missing.  She had a couple bad practices. I called her out of the pool once it was so bad. She returned to practicing strong. We incorporated a few fun core strengthening exercises but still I felt the issue was mental more than physical.  I felt that if she could power through the moment she starts to feel tired or the burn it would only take once for her to see it was worth it. But how could I get her to do it on her own?  No way was I going to get her to do it with threats or harsh discipline. 

Last night, the night before her last meet, we were having fun and getting her pumped up.  She was listening to her favorite music. I started thinking about what use to get me fired up.  Rocky! I wasn't sure the music without the movie would do much for her.  But thanks to YouTube I found a compilation of all the training scenes from all the movies put to the Rocky theme song and Eye of the Tiger.  P was so into it!  I was able to point out how Rocky pushed through the tough tired moments to train harder and that's what got him stronger.  I could see something was clicking but who knew if it would translate to the pool.

The meets start out with the backstroke.  We did our usual little routines which includes a little pep talk before staging. I reminded her of Rocky. I reminded her to push through. These were the last four races she had to do and she could give them her all.  And then the breakthrough came! She pushed off the block and she swam hard. The half way point came and she continued to swim hard without slowing down! I was literally on the verge of tears. It clicked! It finally clicked and I knew the feeling she had just had.  That sense of accomplishment that tells you I control my body!  When she got out of the water she was out of breath and tired in a way I had never seen before.  They gave her her time and it was 6 seconds faster than her previous best time.  I was so proud. She was so proud. 

The other 3 strokes were the same. She swam hard wall to wall. She knocked nearly 6 seconds off all her strokes except her best stroke, the breast stroke. But I was expecting it. Breaststroke came two events after backstroke and she was still tired. She needed to gain her mental strength again, also something new to her. By the third event she was able to gather herself back together and give it her all once again.  At the end of each race she was exhausted and I'd ask her "did you leave it all in the pool" and she'd say "there's nothing left".  

At the end of the day I had to sit and talk with her.  To me this was such a momentous occasion and I wanted to make sure she understood why. I told her i was incredibly proud of her.  I explained that it wasn't just about the swimming. It was about her knowing she gave it everything she had. She would never wonder if she "coulda, woulda, shoulda" done something more could she had finished better? And the same thing applied to all things in life. If in everything she did she did her best she would have no regrets or wonder if it could have been better. I also explained that the more she pushed through the tough parts, or when it starts to burn, the stronger she would become.  It wouldn't necessarily become easier but she would find comfort in knowing she could break through the tough barriers.  And the uncomfortable point would become comfortable.  The life lesson was clicking in.  

Today she finished:
10th in breaststroke with a time of 39.32
15th in butterfly with 45.52
20th in freestyle with 30.82 
25th in backstroke with 35.09

Today was huge!

Tennis

We signed Annika up for tennis camp this summer.  My goal is for her to learn to play the game at a decent level. She doesn't have to compete but I do want her to be able to play. I also want her to have fun with the sport which is why I thought camp would be perfect.

The camp is for 5-8 year olds.  She is 4.5. Given how long she's already been playing, I knew being the youngest wasn't going to be a problem skill wise.  I was more concerned about how she'd feel socially. Fortunately, she fit right in no problem. In fact, she made many friends.  Every time I dropped her off and picked her up other campers came by to say hello. She was also very proud of herself for doing it. She really looked forward to it, was excited and wanted to continue doing it all summer. But I felt different and I think I did the right thing by pulling her out but I'm not 100% sure.

First, she was so exhausted every day.  I mean really fatigued. I could tell it was too much with the heat and the age gap.  And second, more importantly, after one week of camp I could see her strokes taking a turn for the worse.  I knew I had to pull her when Dave sent me a few pictures of her hitting balls and every one made me cringe.

I primarily teach by feel, specially at this young age.  I try not to use too many verbal cues and instead I let her feel what the right stroke feels like.  For example, on the forehand side the left foot should be out in front. That's the weight bearing foot in the stroke. Instead of telling her over and over to put that foot out in front I have her try to push me with her shoulder in a side ways position the same way she's positioned when hitting a forehand.  When her foot is in the right place she can push me harder, ie hit the ball harder. When the foot is in the wrong place she's off balance.

In a camp scenario it's too hard to work with each child so closely.  They taught very little technique which I expected. That was fine for me because I'd rather they do nothing than do the wrong thing. However, they started asking her to hit with one hand instead of two and to hit volleys. The kid is barely taller than the net. How is she hitting volleys?  Also, I'd rather her hit with two hands and feel strong than hit with one and feel weak and develop bad habits.

The other thing I didn't like is that they place too much emphasis on where the ball is going...over the net.  I could care less where the ball goes as long as the stroke is right. If the stroke is right the ball will eventually go where it should. Plus, I want her to swing fast and smooth not worry about winning a point or a game.  When they worry about the outcome they develop awful habits and hit tenitively.  Like in life;  if you worry about the outcome you'll never take the necessary risks.

I'm trying not to be a crazy tennis parent but I just can't sit back and watch Annika's strokes get ruined.  I've been teaching her since she started standing!  Literally, the kid stood and I put a racket in her hands.  Not to make her a champion but to develop her senses and hand eye coordination that will help her in whatever sport she chooses to do.

I want her to have fun but not ruin a skill. So, I've decided to put her in other non-tennis camps where she'll have fun but I'll continue to teach her myself for now.  I even looked through pictures to make sure I wasn't over reacting. Every before/after picture is the same thing.

This picture is from after a week of camp.  She's focused on getting the ball over the net so she's pushing it up. Her weight is back or stationary not going forward. Her wrists are in a weak position because she's trying to hit up by pushing not stroking through the ball.

The picture below is from two weeks before camp.  First notice how she's not even facing the net. We're at the back of the court. The goal is to hit the ball not get it over the net.  Her weight is fully going forward. She's hitting through the ball not pushing it forward and her wrists and arms are in a strong position.

But the one common thing she has in all the pictures is her focus. This kid can focus like nobody's business when she wants to. Below is the first day of camp and Annika has her game face on. The minute we got out of the car she was in the right frame of mind.  I don't want to waste that!  That is something you don't teach. A person either has it or doesn't.

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It's NOT About the Bike

Over the summer P started trying to ride her bike.  First she got on her balance bike. She was determined to get it down, and she did in about 3 days.  She wanted to ride everyday.  She gained so much confidence she was going down steep hills and ramps and loving it. She learned to use her hand brakes and then asked for the pedals.  I was proud of her determination.

I had the pedals put on the bike. Suddenly it got hard and uncomfortable. She didn't want to ride it anymore.  She didn't even want to try.  This is a part of P's personality that I will have to work on. When she knows she can do something she has unbelievable determination. But, if she has even the slightest thought she can't she won't even try.  This is where the bike riding is not about the bike.  It's about her getting past her fear of failure.  It's about not saying "i can't" before even trying.  This is a huge building block for future success.

For three days I pushed her to try.  I told her she couldn't give up and she had to at least get on and give it a try.  She did get on but I could tell her expectations of success were determined in the first 30 seconds.  When she did try she rode her bike just fine and every single time it was fear that stopped her.  It's amazing how fear alone can make us fail.  

When P started trying to ride with pedals she was riding great for about 30 yards and then she pedaled in the wrong direction so the bike came to a quick stop and she fell over. I think that was the one act that set the tone for riding with pedals.  I really wanted her to push past her fears. I wanted her to try because she was so so close to realizing what she wanted to accomplish.  

The neighbors saw her trying to ride and me pushing her.  I saw the looks on their faces. I could see what they were thinking. I was trying to get my 3 year old to ride a bike. What an accomplishment for me.  I could care less if P never rides a bike. I do care if she doesn't try.  If she doesn't get past this block in her head it worries me. This is the kind of stuff that determines whether she will continue giving up every time something gets hard.  Life is full of hard stuff on the road to amazing accomplishments.  I don't expect the neighbor with a drug addict/dealing son and a 7 year old who can't even read a fortune cookie to even begin to comprehend any of this.  Their judgment is still annoying.  

Dave even got in on the bandwagon and tried to motivate her to try.  We finally set the idea aside.  But every time we saw something related to not giving up we pointed it out to her.  We watched Kung Fu Panda.  Po didn't give up even though he was afraid!  Dragon Warriors don't give up!  Are you a Dragon Warrior P?  Yes I am!  We tried again.  At least she tried. To me, that's what counts. 


It's October.  P hasn't touched her bike in over a month.  She has conquered her fear in a few other areas so maybe we will try again... 

The Summer She Jumped!

Every summer P has gotten more and more courageous in the water.  This was the summer she found the courage to jump into the pool.  It seems so basic but I believe it's a great leap of ability and courage on her part. I don't know when it actually started but I do know it was with Dave. With him she found the courage to jump off of him into the water and then from the edge into the pool.  It doesn't matter how deep the water is, she's jumping.  

I find it very interesting that I'm the one who pushes/encourages her to do more, to find her courage, to not give up but she always seems to find it on her own when she's with Dave.  When she was afraid to get back in the water it was me who talked her through it and asked her to find her courage.  But her first lap across the pool, width wise, was with Dave.  He doesn't like to push her or to get her to finish what she started. It's not something he was groomed with as a child.  I also know when she wants the easy way out she'll call for him. But after we've done some groundwork together I'll walk away and bam! She rises on her own! 

To be honest, I've been hurt and frustrated that I put the work in and Dave gets to see the grand results. However, when I see the big picture....she does better without me, I think it's a good thing.  What I'm seeing is I am laying down the groundwork and helping her find whats within her.  And when I'm gone she's finding it all on her own.  So, now I feel relieved that as she grows up, and her life becomes more her own, she'll fly without me.  To me, that's the greatest reward. 

The Balance Bike

The pictures above are of P learning to ride her balance bike last week.  The small slopes in our front yard were perfect for her to get a feel for coasting.  But you can see she's not comfortable.  I was so proud of her. She kept doing the slopes over and over again despite clearly being outside of her comfort zone. Every day last week she asked to go out and ride her bike.  She's been determined to get control of it and to get her pedals on!  I'm so proud of that determination and the understanding that practice is what makes perfect.

Below are pictures of P from today. She started riding ramps a few days ago but had yet to gain her confidence and the ability to use her hand brake.  Today she got both!!! And again I loved that she kept wanting to ride the ramps "I just want to make sure I got it mom!".  The best part for me was seeing that sense of accomplishment she was feeling.  Nothing in the world beats that! Nothing!  And that feeling is what will drive her from today until the day she dies!!! 

ISR Refresher

P finished her week of ISR refresher today.  It was amazing to watch her go from being petrified of the water to having her confidence back in a 5 day period.  P had two bad experiences this spring. One where she couldn't reach the edge of the pool and the other she missed the last step in our pool.  Those two incidents of not being in control and not able to float comfortably scared her. Every time we got near a pool her fear got worse and worse so I called Katie. In 5 days Katie took her from fearful to confident and I can't thank her enough for getting me my Super P and peace of mind back. 

Every spring P gets back in the water and her body has grown and changed so much it throws her off.  Every fall I promise myself to get into the heated pool at the club a couple times a month through the winter so P keeps her feel of the water.  It never happens. Who wants to get into a pool when it's 50 degrees outside? Not me! That's for Olympic athletes. 

This is the fourth time we've been to Katie. The first two years were 4-6 week sessions. Last year and this year were refreshers.  For some reason this year it's really hit me hard how fast time is passing. We've always had a routine of swimming and then going to Starbucks after.  On Monday our first day, we pulled into the Starbucks parking lot and I started crying.  I remember 8 months as if it were yesterday.  It feels like yesterday and yet when she was 8 months old, 4 years old felt like it was going to be decades away.  The one thing I know for sure is that I don't regret the thousands and thousands of pictures I've taken of this kid. And I certainly don't regret the money and time we've spent on ISR. Besides it being a literal life saver, this whole experience was the starting block of building P's confidence.  For a 20month old to know they can fully control their bodies in the water when they can't on dry land and to know they can do something better than most other 4,5,6 year olds is a huge boost of confidence.  It's crazy amazing. 

These pictures give me goose bumps. We've come a long way my little baby!

Thank you Katie.  I know another ISR instructor could have taught P these skills but another would not have given her the love and warmth you give! xo

P and Katie today.

 P and Katie in July 2008. P was 8 months old. That cry was such torture to me.

Today

 July 2008. Although painful to hear, the cry was worth knowing she could float and survive at 8 months old.

Today.

 2008

Today

 2008

We still have monkey.  Katie gave him to P when she was an infant.  She was drawn to him from the start and to this day she'll go beyond her comfort zone if monkey is around. 

Monkey with us back when P was 20 months old. 

P floating back then to!

Ballet Continues

P has been in ballet long enough to outgrow her first tutu and ballet shoes.  She continues to love it.  I like that it's given her a personal relationship to classical music. Swan Lake was playing on the radio and she recognized it right away.  It's giving her flexibility and getting her to do controlled body movements.  She has also learned to listen. It was hard at first but I now see her following Ms Sara really well.  We've made new friends through it. And the best part is that I see it building her self confidence.  We'll do a few weeks of ballet camp this summer.  Three hours of ballet a day!  We'll see how that goes.

On another note, I'm so not into the sparkly, frilly, poofed out tutus.  I'm more "Fame" style. I love what Natalie Portman wore in "The Black Swan". Thank God P likes it to! Phew!!!!