Christmas Performance

Three weeks ago we went to P's Christmas performance at school.  Dave and I held back tears of pride throughout the whole event. Once it was just the two of us in the car, we let the tears flow. It was one of those moments that you live for as a parent.  The kind of scene you see on TV and movies that makes parenting look so awesome!  And the moment really was.  P was so charismatic up on stage. I must admit she looked so damn cute in her holiday dress. 

The day was going to hold a happy memory forever for me. Then, on our ride home I saw Facebook postings about this thing happening in Connecticut.  No one posted specifics so I Googled it. My stomach sank. While were having a happy parenting moment others across the country were having the worst parent moment imaginable.  Later, when I went to pick P up from school it felt like a privilege.  I thought about the mothers who would never pick up their kids from school again.  I cried. I cried for days.  I can usually brush off sad news events but this really shook me.  

P goes back to school on Monday.  Lucky for us, our holiday break started after that Friday three weeks ago.  Time has mellowed the rawness of the event but I'm still rather nervous about P going back to school.  Logically I know she should be fine but emotionally I feel like I should keep her home.  There was something about all of us being at school at the same time that this horrible thing happened that makes me feel vulnerable. 

We haven't discussed the event with P. It has not been brought up.  We don't watch regular TV so she has not seen it on the news. We threw out front pages of the paper for a few days.  Anyone who has referenced the event has only mentioned it by other random terms; the Connecticut thing or that school thing.  No specifics and never said anything other than referencing it.  I'm debating if we should talk about it. She has not asked about it so I figure it may not be a good idea to bring it up specially now that she's about to go back.  I think she is too young and the kids too close to her age. 

I'm trying to keep the memory of that day a good one. I'm trying to just remember the fun or funny moments. Like this one:

The kindergarten classes were the last to go. The minute the kids hit that stage all the parents filled the first 20 feet of space right in front of it.  We were all like a big crowd of groupies!  I was standing up holding G so I got towards the back to not block anyone.  I wished I had my camera on me. The picture would have been amazing: the kids looking at all us parents and all us parents looking at them with camera phones, video recorders, long lensed SLRs, etc recording every single moments. It was priceless!  Dave was off to the side getting great shots like this one.  Just priceless.  I will try with all my might to keep this memory in my mind forever!  

Valentine's Day Necklaces

 

I wish I could take credit for all my creative ventures.  My secret is that I'm addicted to reading blogs!  There are women, mothers who are amazing.  I just came across Flax & Twine via Design Mom.  I was looking to get P something special for Valentine's Day.  These necklaces were just perfect and what's even better is I could make them for her!  Dave had a last minute day off yesterday so we both went to Michael's to get supplies.  I'm so glad because it made him part of the process.

Instructions to make the necklaces can be found here.  Per P's request I used buttons to secure them at the end instead of tying them off.  

P is feeling cool with her new necklaces and a new outfit.   I ordered this tee and pants from The Mini Social weeks ago and they arrived today so we came off as super champs!  Phew, love it when things work out like that!

 

A Photographer/Director in the Making

 We weren't able to do a Christmas card photo shoot with our friends this year.  Dave's friend Tony was called to work on a movie in New Mexico at the last minute.  Dave was crazy busy with work as well so I knew P and I were going to have to do this one ourselves.  

I had an idea of doing a picture of P with my belly.  I didn't want to jinx the pregnancy but when Tony got called away to work I thought it was a green light the universe was giving me to go ahead.  I started out setting up the shot above.  It didn't take too many takes with the timer to get what I needed.  And it didn't take too long for P to push me aside and direct the shoot herself. 

We started with just the two of us.  I guided her a little bit on how the camera worked and how she could "check the gate" with the buttons on the back of the camera.  Dave came home just in time to be a part of it all at which point P really began directing.  It cracked us up to hear the things she said:

"oh that was a great picture", "i think it works", "ok this time fly like birds", "this one give me a scared face", "can you think of something happy and funny". It was like watching a mini director. She was quite articulate and clearly expressed what she wanted from us.  Below is an assortment of her shots.

 

This was our Christmas card this year. I ordered them again from Tiny Prints.  I love their paper stock, prices and overall quality.

Halloween 2011

 P wanted to be Aerial this year.  I could have gone out to Target and bought her a $20 costume and be done with it but I just couldn't. I almost did. Then I reconsidered. It's been a childhood dream of mine to sew my children's costumes.  Plus this year will be easier than next so I should take advantage!

I ordered a leotard and a wig from the cheapest sellers on Amazon and then headed to the fabric store.  The original idea was to make her a fish tail of some sort. I bought enough boning to wrap it around her twice from top to bottom but fatigue and reason took over.  P was allowed to wear her costume to school for two days which meant  I needed to make a costume she could run and play in without tripping or getting tripped by other children.  Fish tail was out of the question.  Plus there is a sleek look to her sequin skirt just being long and straight. 

I love the challenge of making her costumes from my imagination vs a pattern.  Problem is I know little about sewing so my solutions may not be the soundest or most technical ones out there.  I get inspired from seeing other deluxe, stage costumes and working a simpler version.  Dave helped me make the sea shells more three dimensional by stitching each "ridge" all the way through instead of just one side of the fabric. I saw a mermaid bra top that had pearls sewn in and thought I'd do the same.  The clear "water drop beads" were much cheaper so I went with them instead.  Each one was hand sewn and almost each one came off after the first day of school!  I waited until Halloween evening to sew more on.  

We waited until Halloween to pull out the wig.  As expected her head itched after 20 minutes of it being on and she was ready to take it off.  I think she braved through the trick or treating only because she got so many compliments....starting with Crate & Barrel. P got to trick-or-treat through the store when we went to pick up my mom from work.  Of course everyone was saying how cute she was and how awesome her hair was!

 

I like to do a family theme with the costumes but this year I only had the energy for one.  I did think it would have been perfect for Dave to be King Triton, my mom would have been the perfect Sebastian and I with my round belly could have been Flounder.  But that was too much....work and money.  

Much to my surprise Dave was engrossed in pumpkin carving. I had no idea how much he loved it.  I had to ask him to stop so we would have pumpkins left for Thanksgiving decorations.  

I did love watching Dave and P do their carving together.  P is starting to handle sharp objects quite well which is exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time. 

Dave's cat creation was so awesome people asked me if we had bought it from a florist!

Every Halloween I'm so happy and proud that I made P's costume.  I've been dreaming of this since I learned to sew as a kid and I'm glad I'm doing what I've set out to do so long ago. I've always hoped the extra cost of making them vs buying them would be worth it. This year Dave and my mom told me P was telling everyone her mom made her costume. She was proud. Also, this year P has asked for a sewing machine for her birthday!  I think the whole process is making a positive impact. 

Seven years ago Dave and I bought this ghost/jack-o-lantern for our apartment. It was our first holiday decorative piece together.  It burned out this year and I couldn't throw it away without taking a picture of it.  He brings back lots of memories. 

 

The Halloween traditions wouldn't be complete without the "candy trade". Thanks to our friend Kiersten who always has brilliant ideas to raising happy, healthy kids, P only has 5 candies from her treating.  The rest she trades in for a toy of her choice (within reason) at Toys R Us. 

She got a pink dolphin the next day!

Dave's Pirate Treasure Map Cake

Today is Dave's birthday. One of the things I love about my husband is that no matter how old he gets he is still a child at heart.  He loves all things pirate.  A few months back I was flipping through a kid's magazine and I saw this pirate cake.  Dave wanted it so that is what I made him for his birthday.  

It was a lot of fun to make.  I'm in awe of whoever came up with the idea.  It's so creative. The entire thing was edible. We bought quite a bit of candy yesterday to make all the elements and then P helped me make the cupcakes.  Birthday cakes have become one of my biggest creative outlets.  I really love making them and I'm starting to wish I worked at Ace of Cakes or some place like that.  

I bought most of the candy at Whole Foods. All the icing is colored with organic food coloring made from fruit or vegetables.  The few items I couldn't find at Whole Foods I bought at Cost Plus. They have a surprising large assortment of candy and not just domestic either.  

 

A treasure chest made out of chocolate nuggets, mini pearls and icing.  A parrot made from a green sugar gum drop. X marks the spot made out of a red M&M and red sugar gum drops. 

 Pirate flag made out of a chocolate covered coconut chew, marshmellows and icing.  I should have gotten chocolate icing to make the eyes but I just couldn't justify buying a tube of it for only 2 dots.

 Volcano made out of chocolate covered coconut chews and icing with red sugar.

 Bones made out of mini marshmelows.

The "sand" was made from smashed up vanilla wafers. And the coins are chocolate.

Mother's Day 2011

We've established a tradition for Mother's Day.  I get to work in the garden undisturbed the entire day.  Dave takes care of meals and P. It's such a great gift.  I got so much done today. I'm tired and sore and love it!

Every Mother's Day I take inventory of what I've learned about the job of mothering. Each year brings on new challenges with P's development.  However, I find dealing with P's changes is the easier part of parenting.  If I could parent her in a bubble, away from most families I think I'd find the job much easier.  Over the year I've found that it can be hard to find a balance where your child is socialized but not badly influenced. And it's not even the other children I find challenging, it's other parents.

Until P went to preschool I have felt like a fish out of water as a parent.  The families we were surrounded by seemed to have such different expectations of their children, of themselves and of their families as a whole.  To be honest, I found these parents weren't willing to go the extra mile for their children and in many cases seemed "tuned out" to them.  I can respect each family's choices but what I found most annoying about these people was that they criticized me for expecting more.

From the very first day P went to preschool I felt like I found my "herd".  I found parents who were fully committed to their kids.  For example, I have been very, very selective of who I leave P with.  I know it's gotten to the point where some have been insulted because I wasn't willing to leave P in their care.  However, I'll put P's safety over an adult's hurt feelings any day of the week.  I've been criticized for my "over worrying".  At preschool I found mother after mother telling me the same thing.  They are with their children 24/7 because they trust very few people.

So this year I found that not all parents are created equal.  It does take a village to raise a child but it makes it a thousand times easier to raise that child if you find a village with your same values and goals.  This past year I have found life to be much easier.  We have dinner dates and socialize with other families and I never worry about P.  I can relax and enjoy a great meal and a glass of wine with great people.  The families we've befriended long ago and recently grown closer to are similar to our family in their core values. They may have some other differences but spending time with them is so relaxing.  There is no fighting or meanness between the kids.  We all for our children and I'm starting to realize it may be because all of these parents have some pretty great accomplishments of their own. Which brings me to my second big realization.

The more accomplished a woman is before she becomes a mother the better mother she is.  By accomplished I don't neccesarily mean she needs to have gone to Harvard and been VP of something.  I mean the more successful a woman feels in what she has done, ie, if she feel she has accomplished great things then the more confident she is which in turn, makes her a much better mother.  Motherhood is hard for many reasons. One of them is that this is the only job that makes you really take a good hard look at yourself and analyze all of your shortcomings.  The children we raise are a reflection of who we are. The "problems" we find with our child are more often than not coming from us.  We have to change us first to change them.  A confidant person can do that.  Because misery loves company, an insecure parent finds other parents with the same low expectations and they belittle those that challenge themselves and want more.

I'm grateful that this past year I finally shed the heavy weight of bad friendships and returned to our old ones and found great new ones.  I've learned to listen to my inner voice when it I meet new people.  I've also learned that the best way to identify a family's true nature and morals is to watch young children. They are uncensored versions of their parents.  

I feel blessed I am a mom. I feel blessed my parents had high expectations of me and gave me a huge dose of self confidence. And I feel very lucky to have a good village to help me raise my child. 

Halloween 2010

Another great Halloween!  I never liked this holiday until I had a child. The theme this year: bees. P was a bee, D was a bee keeper and I was a beehive.  D's and my costumes were from the Martha Stewart website.  P's costume was a take on the chicken she did last year. 

We started the day with belgian waffles and oranges, followed by a 3 hour hike/walk, long naps in the late afternoon then the neighborhood parade and at last trick or treating.  P traded in all her candy, but 8 pieces, for a remote controlled Pluto dog.  I thank my friend K every year for this brilliant idea!


Dave had a brilliant idea to this year!  He had me cut out a spiral in the stinger of P's costume so that he could could make it light up with flashing lights from within.  I groaned that it would be too much work but caved in when I saw the look of disappointment on his face.  He wanted to contribute to P's costume. How could I stand in the way?  I'm glad he suggested the idea because it turned out to be spectacular. It was literally brilliant as we walked around at night!  

These memories are just amazing to me.  It brings me such joy to sew P's costume every year. It's my childhood dream come true! 

Christmas Memories

P is at the age where the magic of Christmas is now making sense.  We got to decorate the tree entirely this year.  Last year we had to start the ornaments 2' up from the bottom branch because she kept taking them off.  She is being patient with her gifts and knows she has to wait to open them.  However, because her birthday was not too long ago she calls all presents "happy birthdays".  


We all have our own memories of Christmas.  Mine involve mid-night Mass, few gifts and always playing one of the biggest junior tennis tournaments in the world, the Orange Bowl.  Tennis took over making gingerbread houses or decorating with the lights or anything else about the holiday.


It recently dawned on me that P's Christmas memories are in our hands.  We are about to start sculpting how she will feel about the holidays for the rest of her life.  Lets face it, it's our childhood memories that set the tone for this time of the year.  With this in mind I'm making a list of what I want Christmas to mean to P and our future children. 


I want Christmas to have a feel of warmth and family. I want us to have special, traditional meals and to bake cookies and gingerbread houses.  I want them to remember a home decorated with lights and great cheer.  I want them to know the reason for our season as Christians but I want them to know it's only one of a few interpretations for why we all celebrate.  I want them to know its a time to give and share. I want them to get gifts but  I do not want to make it about the gifts. I vow to not have a tree with tons of gifts under it, regardless of how well we are doing financially.  With the toys and other "physical" gifts they get I also want them to get the gifts of responsibility, freedom, courage, strength.  Gifts that are more gifts of life and growing up.  I mostly want them to feel special and loved beyond anything ever known.


I'm really not sure how I'm going to make all this happen. Maybe starting with a few goals and adding on every year will get the job done.  

A year ago....

This was P's costume last year. She loved that little cat she's holding.  It was the first toy she actually went after in a store.  She wouldn't let it go, so I had to buy it.  I figured if I made her look like her favorite cat she would want to wear her costume and I was right.  She LOVED it!  Ironically, someone stole her cat that night.

I started sewing when I was round 11.  Since then I've dreamt of making my children's costumes.    I was in tears sewing P's first costume.  I was so happy, as I was again this year.  These are the things that make me extremely happy.

Happy Halloween 2009

P is a chicken this year and hubby and I are cheeeken faaamers.  She's still in love with chickens after chicken sitting the neighbor's over the summer.  


I did a Martha Stewart costume. It turned out great. She loved it and wanted to wear it all the time. I was blown away by her coordination when walking in her "chicken feet".  They were hand-washing gloves stuffed and stretched over her shoes.  My God the girl amazes me with her coordination constantly.


Tonight she ate candy. I don't like her to eat it but I'm also not such a nut that I wouldn't allow her to have any on this given night.  She had about 6 pieces.  Enough to give her a sugar rush that had her jumping over and onto the couch for a good hour.  


I am in love with my child.  Making her costume myself makes me feel so good and it's the realization of a dream I've had since I was a child.