Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween 2010

Another great Halloween!  I never liked this holiday until I had a child. The theme this year: bees. P was a bee, D was a bee keeper and I was a beehive.  D's and my costumes were from the Martha Stewart website.  P's costume was a take on the chicken she did last year. 

We started the day with belgian waffles and oranges, followed by a 3 hour hike/walk, long naps in the late afternoon then the neighborhood parade and at last trick or treating.  P traded in all her candy, but 8 pieces, for a remote controlled Pluto dog.  I thank my friend K every year for this brilliant idea!

Dave had a brilliant idea to this year!  He had me cut out a spiral in the stinger of P's costume so that he could could make it light up with flashing lights from within.  I groaned that it would be too much work but caved in when I saw the look of disappointment on his face.  He wanted to contribute to P's costume. How could I stand in the way?  I'm glad he suggested the idea because it turned out to be spectacular. It was literally brilliant as we walked around at night!  

These memories are just amazing to me.  It brings me such joy to sew P's costume every year. It's my childhood dream come true! 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Breakfast Pizza

One of my favorite recipes to make is Breakfast Pizza from the Big Sur Bakery Cookbook.  Everyone in the family loves it. I tend to get into "recipe" routines. I  crank out the same thing for a couple weeks before I move on to the next best thing. Lately, the pizza has been it.

The dough recipe yields two pizzas. Over the weekend, when I made it, we were only three so there was a whole pie left over.  When D went to put it away I said "don't put it in the fridge. It'll get yucky." and he replied "what do you want me to do with it then?".   I blurted out the first thing that came to mind "I want you to put it on a pedestal under a soft heat lamp to keep it just perfect the way it is right now."  That's what came to mind and that's what I said.  One of the perks of being married is that you can often say whatever crazy thing comes to mind and your spouse knows better than to think you're crazy....or at least they are legally bound to not take off running.  
So, D started to draw a pedestal on our chalk wall!  See, he indulges my crazy. The perfect complement to me. 

I'm so proud of myself for making this recipe. I've finally got it down to a science and it's so good. I don't know, there is something about this recipe that makes the day start off just right.  You can find it here in the New York Times online.   

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

8 month's time

We went to the Getty yesterday. Another fabulous time. It was crowded like I've never seen it before....then again I've never been in the summer.  This spot might become my new mile marker of time. The trees in the background are a good tell tale sign of the time of year.  

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Tick bites

On Wednesday we joined our neighborhood gang at Sycamore Canyon for dinner.  We were suppose to camp out with them but I've been exhausted lately.  D was on a three day shoot, I dealt with the cable guy all morning and I just didn't have it in me to rent a tent, etc.  We....I haven't been into camping until now, that we have P, therefore we have minimal camping gear.  On my "to-do" list to stock up.

P and I got home late on Wednesday night.  Thursday morning I finally got her into a bath at about 10am and in the final rinse of her hair I found a tick on P's left ear.  I flipped and went into commando mode.  I grabbed tweezers. The only thing that came to mind was "disinfect and take the entire creature out".  I got the entire tick and put it in a jar.  I put alcohol on P's ear and she of course started crying.  The tick took skin of her's with it so there was an open wound.  The girl has balls. That's all I can say about P.  She cried minimally.  I think she thought the burning sensation of the alcohol was the tick biting her.  She just wanted to know it was out. Then she calmed down. 

So, long story short we ended up at the ER today because this morning I saw red streaking lines coming from the bite.  She had some puss.  I called the doctor after she went down for a nap and he suggested we take her to urgent care.   After her 3 hour nap we went to the Pediatric Urgent Care only to find that they don't take our insurance company, Motion Picture Health, because MPH doesn't pay their bills.  Nice!  Many urgent care centers don't do pediatrics.  In an effort to save time we went straight to the ER.   

D and I debated as to whether it was worth it to go to the ER. Could it wait till Monday?  The streaking was almost gone by the time we arrived at the hospital. Which of course makes me look like a lunatic mom putting my kid through the whole ER experience for a minimal thing.  But I was worried it could get worse again.  And why is it that when the doctor explains what to look for seems it'll be obvious.  But when it's actually happening it doesn't seem that bad so it's hard to tell what to do. This is what her ear looked like this morning.  
Left ear. The one that got bitten under the top fold.  It doesn't seem that red....

...until you compare it to the right ear. I'm the type to nip something as it's getting worse not when it's full blown. 

We were given antibiotics, amoxicillin,  just to cover all our bases from anything infectious.  It seems the reaction she got could have happened with any kind of bug bite.  
A few things I learned: 

  • Ticks don't transfer Lyme disease until they start the feeding process which doesn't begin until 36-48 hours after latching on. You can visually tell because they start to fatten up.
  • Heating or suffocating a tick can cause it to release it's toxins into the skin more so than just pulling it from the head. 
  • Lyme disease isn't the only disease of concern with tick bites.
  • The reaction from a bite can erupt weeks for months after a bite. 
  • I should always know where to take P in case of emergency.  We were lucky to have had this "non-emergency" situation so that in the event that a real emergency comes up we now know which hospital and entrance to go to etc.
  • Our camping gear needs to include a first aid kit, specially things to deal with ticks.  DEET is not good for children....or adults really.  When D was in Malaysia he put DEET on every day and his tough rubber banded watch deteriorated from the stuff.   
Our time in the ER was really great considering the circumstance.  The doctors and nurses were lovely and Providence Tarzana Medical Center.  Afterwards we went to dinner at a local BBQ place.  I had a craving for meat.  We laughed when P showed the waitress her ankle bracelet from the hospital.  In the bathroom P says to me " I like this place Mamma. This is a good place. " I asked why and she said "It makes me feel good."....probably because she didn't eat an entire vegetable during dinner. I was too exhausted to worry about it.  But it was the first time I've heard her express emotion/desire/feelings so well.  

When the ice cream arrived she started eating.  Then she stopped and reorganized the plate and bowl.  "It has to be right" she said.  D looked at me. Definitely MY child.  And then she picked up the bowl and slurped the rest of the ice cream directly into her mouth.  I looked at D. Definitely HIS child.  

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Learning Tees

On Saturday we were at the Playa Vista Farmers Market selling my organic line of tees called Learning Tees.  This is one of the hardest things for me to do. I hate selling.  I can only do it if its a product I believe in and love but it can't be something I've created myself.  Any word coming out of my mouth feels like I'm really saying "like me, like me".  Its so unnatural but I must do it. We have a great deal of inventory.  

I started LT over five years ago with a partner.  She dropped out roughly two years into it. When I went solo I decided I was going to do this right so I decided to invest big.  I....WE, my husband, my family and I invested big.  I was going to do this with no regrets. I decided to make the line organic. I flew to India to source manufacturers. I designed the tee shirts from scratch, making them longer and leaner for the time there wasn't anything like this out there. Things were going pretty well.  I launched online and in stores.  I had 5 reps who sold to boutique children's stores throughout the country.  It was the start of something big.

When I was pregnant with P I had a vision of running a business and raising a child.  Then I brought P home from the hospital and I knew, P would be my full time job.  She became my number one priority.  I've always felt I can launch another business when I'm 45-50 but I can't go back and raise my child from the start. Plus owning a business is like having another child.  It takes a great deal of forethought, concentration, time, money and help.

I went through a depressed phase. It was a loss to let my business go.  Never in a million years did I think I could work so hard to bring something to fruition and then just let it go.  Just like that! I critiqued women who  dropped out before me. Then, I joined their "quit" club. 

Along with the depression came guilt.  It was P who made me lose my business dreams in a sense.  It was my choice but why did it have to be a choice. It doesn't really.  Obviously there are women who do both but that wasn't the choice for me.  I'm all or nothing and with my kid it was going to be all in.  These years with P have been fruitful beyond words to explain the benefits.  Many of the "fruits" are intangible.  I can feel the benefits but I couldn't point them out to you.  When the time is right I'll find my career path again.  

The things I learned in the 7 years of designing, launching and executing Learning Tees feels like the equivalent of an MBA.  One thing I know for sure is that I want all my children to take business classes when they are in college.  Specially if they choose to become artist, it will be a family requirement.  

My perspective at the farmer's market this weekend was different then when I did my last event before P was born.  Everything use to be perfectly set up in advance.  I always thought of all the possible scenarios and was prepared.  Now, not so much. I have a limited amount of time to make things work. The booth wasn't quite right. The shirts hung so low I couldn't see my customers.  I had no business cards and my website is down right now.  I've learned to relax.  It is what it is. I sold some product, P had a great day and I did manage to write down my etsy website url down for people on other printouts I had handy.  Plus, I've learned from watching other entrepreneurial moms that perfect isn't so pretty and someone else is now watching closely and learning.    

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Baby Worries

We've officially started trying to have another baby.  We started in October but both in October and November either me or D were sick during the prime conception time.  I didn't realize it until now but December and January were very stressful with my father's passing in January.  February was the first month we were trying and in a good place.

I have mixed emotions about conceiving.  Thrilled, scared, nervous, anxious, positive, hopeful, and full of desire for another child. After having to terminate the last pregnancy at 6 months I can't help but go over every little detail of that pregnancy and compare it to how I'm feeling right now.  With P I didn't realize I was pregnant until I was 9 weeks along.  With the second I knew right away mostly because I felt so awful.  My gut feeling told me something was off but I kept telling myself every pregnancy is different so I shouldn't compare.  

I know what happened last time was a fluke.  We did several genetic tests and an autopsy to eliminate any risks for future pregnancies.  I keep telling myself that it's like winning the many people win it more than once?  

The last couple days my body has felt off.  I feel bloated and have awful acid reflux. I'm craving protein and cheese.  All effects during my pregnancy with P.  Could I really be having them when I would only be pregnant for a week.....if I even am!

My biggest fear right now is not being able to conceive.  I know I'm older, but at almost 38 I should still be ok.  I freak out that maybe the abortion is now hindering the process.  That thought came to me in the middle of sex one time.  Talk about ruining the mood!  With both of the prior pregnancies we conceived right away.  We couldn't get the words out fast enough "lets have a baby", when boom it happened.  

I'm trying to not think about it.  I'm trying to be as happy-go-lucky as I was when we conceived P.  I'm trying to think positive and to visualize our life with another child in it.  But even that thought worries me.  Can I handle two?  One is pretty tough. Can we really juggle two?????