I've gotten the sweetest, funniest, most amazingly supportive emails and messages from mama friends. Their words have made me feel much better and given me perspective. Birthing our children is 1% of the work. The other 99% that has the most effect on how they turn out as people is the most import part of motherhood.
Thursday afternoon, after my OB appointment I gardened for a while to clear my head. I was sitting on a stool pulling weeds and when I reached over at one point I felt a sharp pain in my upper stomach. It didn't go away the following morning, Friday morning, so I ended up going in for another NST after acupuncture. The baby was fine. They did some blood work and there was nothing going on. Not even a single contraction. The only thing that made me think I might go into labor was that I literally felt like I was separating in two from the bottom up. I felt as if my hips, tendons, etc were coming apart. Every step hurt like hell.
This morning I woke up to contractions around 7am but by 10am they had gone away. Again I'm feeling like I'm coming apart from my bottom seam. Fortunately, P has TWO birthday parties today. Dave has taken her to both and it's given me time to relax and be mellow here at home. I sat down to watch one of my all time favorite movies, "Almost Famous". I use to think the mom in the movie was a nut. Now I'm starting to see an awful lot of myself in her.
As Dr. Perlow requested, I called her at 1pm to let her know my body was not going into labor. So the plan is for me to go in for a scheduled c-section tomorrow morning at 10am. Labor and Delivery has been super crazy the last few days and there aren't any beds today but tomorrow I'll be able to get a comfy room. It also gives us the time to have a prepared plan for P.
I'm not sad anymore. My friend's emails have made me feel great. I feel relieved. Actually, I should have known myself better. I'm a planner. This suits my personality much better. Plus, because I'm not having to go through hours of labor I won't be worn out when the baby arrives. Dave can spend the nights at home with P. That has been a huge concern for me. P has never spent the night away from me...EVER! She's started to bond more with Dave in many respects and I think she'll transition better being at home with Dave at night.
After I hung up with Dr. Perlow it hit me...this is our last night as a family of three. Tomorrow my greatest desire of the past three years will become a reality. We will be a family of four. We are all so ready. Poor P is beyond ready. A day is like a month to a four year old so imagine the patience this has taken her. Every morning she wakes up and asks if today is the day. Last week we were with a friend's mom before going to an NST and she took the opportunity to decide she wasn't going with me. "You can do it by yourself Mama. I'm going with Danny's mom." She's done preparing.
I must confess. There is a part of me that still worries there might be something wrong with the baby that went undetected. I'm praying it's just me being over worried after all we've been through. I'm letting the thought go as much as possible and focusing on my dreams coming true. Tomorrow I meet my second daughter!!!